December 21, 2012 Last
chemo + 16 days
Oh how impatient I am. Since the operative word is last, I
seem to think I should immediately be jumping around the house, doing all kinds
of housework, baking Christmas cookies and driving the car again.
Hubby says, “You have to accept the fact there are things you
cannot do.” Right now, he’s working hard cleaning the house, and it hurts me
that he has to do so much more these days. Yes, he’s retired and yes he’s more
than willing. But, it's hard to shake the guilt. He should be enjoying his
retirement not playing nursemaid.
Then I remember the blessings. That all this is a bump, not
an end. The doctor said all these side effects will dissipate within 10-14
days. The only drawbacks to the radiation treatments that will start January 2
is fatigue and possible rash.
And God reminds me that though there have been inconveniences,
He has met all my needs. He is teaching me to accept the help that is lovingly
sent my way. And maybe someday I can either repay or pay forward.
And God saw to it that I had a chance to golf. It wasn’t
until the day after that the muscle weakness in my legs and feet hit. It’s
improving, but I marvel that God cares enough to have held back this new side effect so
that I could golf once again…first time in four months.
Thank you, Lord, for your awesome caring.
People have thanked me for sharing this journey.
I hesitated
at first because I wanted privacy. The Lord nudged me. I am glad.
A few days
ago I came upon these verses.
Psalm 40:1-10
Through this Psalm I realized the following:
- The Psalmist waited patiently, indicating a time of searching and looking for God
- God responded and raised Him from the mire of spiritual deficiency.
- God lifted his despair to Hope and the psalmist sings His joy so that many will see and put their trust in God.
A glad heart desires to share God’s mercies.
