January 2, 2013
Next phase of the Journey: Radiation
(Had the initial appointment today. Mold will be made on Friday then treatments will start five days later for 33 treatments)
Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life….but now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
A new year. Like many I have thought about what resolutions I should make to improve my health and lot in life. Many vow they will eat better and exercise more. Many others go beyond the physical realm and look into the heart, desiring to better their attitudes and relationships.
Whether in remission or currently suffering the outrages of treatment, cancer changes your life and your outlook entirely. It forces to you evaluate what is important in your life.
As I begin the next leg of my cancer journey, I rub my bald head and wish all could be as it once was knowing that will never be. So I begin to pray, asking God to help me look forward, not backward.
I no longer am driven by the next manuscript, though I have obligations and stories still burn within me, begging to be told. My goals are no longer measured by what books I’ll write in the coming year.
As I prayed for God’s intentions for me in 2013, these are what He has placed on my heart.
Give each new day to Me
Starting the day fresh with God makes all the difference in the world. It is more important than going to the gym, checking my email, or Facebook page. I know God awaits me with the dawn of the day. He stands ready to give me just what I need for its measure.
As the Psalmist wrote, sometimes our intentions fail. God does not. He will be there whether I come or not. It is my loss when I don’t. He does not punish me for failing a religious ritual. Rather, he knows that my failure to meet with him is to my detriment, making a harder day for myself than necessary.
Find My purpose for you in each new day and fulfill it.
This will only be successful to the degree I follow the former. When we begin the day with God, He supplies our purpose for that day. It may only be a walk in the park where He opens our eyes to His creation. Or it may be to finish that manuscript that is so near done. It may be playing a game of wii with hubby. God knows that even the mundane and routine of life can bring us to unexpected revelations of His glory.
See more, do more.
During this cancer bout, I have been confined for long periods of time. God has been good, and provided me with diversion to keep from going bonkers. I discovered a new television series. I bought a Kindle and am reading some great books. More importantly, confinement has brought me closer to God, giving me more opportunity to pray.
During the days when I am stronger, I seek to explore God’s world more. I have come to realize that my writing career is only a part of who I am. Before the cancer, I made the mistake of chaining myself to my computer all day, letting opportunities of enrichment slide by. God has shown me that, He has a host of experiences to show me. Word count for a writer is important, but if we do not experience life, we have nothing to write about.
Receive My love
Cancer has shown me how very much loved I am, not only by friends and family but by God. This blessing above all others has sustained me. Perhaps, in the past, I have taken this truth for granted. God’s abundant love for us can never be truly comprehended, but we can open our hearts to receive it.
When we accept the Lord as our Savior, He does more than give us eternal life. He indwells us with His love. It is already there. It is my prayer that I will each day, I will remember His outpouring of mercy. Such joy can only bring about the best in each new day.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (NIV)